


Not getting back up

by gaykaspbraktozier (spideymerc)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Miles is an angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-03 10:32:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17282417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideymerc/pseuds/gaykaspbraktozier
Summary: Peter's breath caught in his throat; he was just as beautiful in this universe as he was in his. His fingers shook as he reached out for the photo of Wade, his... The other Peter's beautiful, smiley husband looking exactly the same as his own before...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a warning, The first chapter Wade is dead and the second is more of a fix it  
> I couldn't hold back after going to see into the spider verse, I had this idea and just went with it
> 
>  
> 
> Possible spoilers for the movie  
> All mistakes are my own, we all know how much I love to write at stupid o'clock in the morning. This fic was no different.

The shed reminded Peter of his own, only way more pretentious and over the top. Really, did this one man need all _this_? He spun around, taking it all in when he saw the framed photo sitting on the desk. Peter's breath caught in his throat; he was just as beautiful in this universe as he was in his. His fingers shook as he reached out for the photo of Wade, his... The _other_ Peter's beautiful, smiley husband looking exactly the same as his own before...

He withdrew his hand and held it close to his body, he could feel the impending breakdown forming no matter how desperately he tried to fend it off. He wasn't _done_ mourning him yet, it's still too fresh and the pain was borderline overwhelming. It's only been _two weeks_ , his whole world was gone so really, why did he even want to try to go home? Miles wasn't near ready to do this task by himself and having his atoms break down until he was nothing sounded pretty damn appealing to Peter right about now.

"Peter... Are you okay?" he couldn't help but jump when Miles touched his arm, "Peter?"

"What's wrong?" Gwen said.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Peter knew he didn't convince them, his voice sounded choked up even to him.

"You're crying." She looked concerned, Peter touched his face and cursed under his breath when he felt the tears.

"I... I need a breather." Peter didn't wait for the others to respond, he turned around quickly and went to the platform to get out of the shed.

As soon as the door was open he walked out and towards the other end of the garden to a patch of grass underneath the tree; a place he used to sit with his Wade and Aunt May on summers days and _he shouldn't have thought about that_. The sobs building up in his throat tore through him and he collapsed to his knees.

He wanted Wade back so badly, it's all he ever wanted.

"Peter?" he jumped back and fell on his butt when Miles showed himself, he should have been able to sense his presence even while he was invisible but his emotions were getting in the way of his spider-senses.

"What are you doing out here kid?" Peter asked, wiping at his eyes.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fi..."

"People who are fine don't fall to the ground in tears," Miles sat down next to him, "You can talk to me." Peter looked at Miles face, the innocence and warmth in his eyes reminding him so much of Wade and he couldn't stop the crying again.

"I think... I think I should be the one who... Who stays behind, kid."

"What no, you can't! You have another life at home... What about your Wade?" _Wade_ , he hadn't heard his name out loud for a while and he missed it.

"There's nothing waiting for me back there."

"What do you mean?"

"My Wade... I really loved him, he was my whole world," Peter dug his fingers into the ground, "He was so kind and considerate and... And... And he didn't deserve what he got, he didn't deserve to... To..."

"Peter..."

"I met him when I was eighteen and we hit it off instantly and Aunt May welcomed him with open arms," he didn't understand why he was giving Miles all this information but the kid was listening and Peter just needed to talk to someone about this emotional baggage he was carrying before it killed him quicker than the breakdown of his atoms, "He came from a shit family but treated everyone so well, he never shut up and, although I never told him, his constant talking gave me comfort... I didn't needed to tell him about being Spider-Man, he said he knew already because he'd know my ass from anywhere," his laughter was broken but it was still the first time he laughed since it happened, "We were married by the time I was twenty, people said we wouldn't last but they were wrong, we were married for sixteen years and we were planning kids and... And... But..."

"What happened to him?" Miles shuffled closer until their arms were touching and Peter was thankful for the small bit of comfort.

"He got cancer, it was everywhere and there was nothing they could do about it, they said chemotherapy would prolong the inventable but Wade didn't want his final few moments with me dragged out if he was too sick to enjoy it and as much as it hurt me to agree I couldn't help it, I didn't want to see him suffer," he wiped his eyes, he felt exhausted, "He died two weeks ago and despite knowing it was going to happen I still didn't feel... Ready? I'm still trying to convince myself to stop thinking he'll walk through the door talking too loudly, Mexican food in one hand and crappy DVD's in the other..." Peter smiled sadly, "But he's not coming home so I don't really have a reason for going back." everything was quite for a while besides Peter's sniffing and choked breaths.

"I'm really sorry about your husband... I could never imagine losing someone I loved that much, but Wade wouldn't want you to give up like this," Miles said, "I know it seems impossible now but it won't be this way forever."

"Times a great healer," Peter scoffed, "Yeah I know, everyone has told me that, but how can it get any better when my reason for waking up in the morning isn't there anymore? How am I supposed to just move on from this? We were together nearly twenty years Miles, that's half my life and I didn't ever plan on spending it with anyone else so I really have nothing to go back to."

"There's always a reason to go back or to wake up... What about your Aunt May?"

"It's not the same, she has a new husband in my world and I'm so happy for her, she has everything she could ask for with him... She doesn't need a depressed nephew bringing her down," Peter looked away from Miles, "I'm not even going to be there for his funeral."

"What?"

"It's taken a while for things to get sorted, took me a good few days to even start putting things into action... We'd planned it all before he... Died," Peter felt his heart clench, "But I'm stuck here and I've missed it, I missed my own husbands funeral, nobody will look at me properly again because what kind of ass hole does that?"

"But it's not your fault!" Miles said, "You didn't choose this."

"Yeah, and how do you explain my absence? Sorry I didn't turn up to Wade's send off, I was too busy being in an _alternative universe_ ," Peter sighed, "I've messed everything up and that world won't miss me."

"But you're Spider-Man, the people of New York will need you."

"Listen, Miles, I appreciate this attempt at a pick me up but it won't work, the people can live without Spider-Man, I wasn't a very present character in their lives for the past year since Wade's diagnosis," he stood up and wiped his face, probably leaving muddy streaks as he did so, "But I can't live without Wade and nobody can expect me to so I'm staying whether you want me to or not, I don't care whether you want to help me but I need to do this because you're not ready to even attempt it by yourself."

"Peter..."

"We're always supposed to get up after we get knocked down, you just can't seem to do it yet," Peter pulled his mask on over his face, " And I just don't want to get up anymore."

He ignored Miles as he used his webs to swing away from the garden, not really caring where he was going but he knew he had to get away from poor, sweet Miles who just didn't really understand anything yet. He hopes he at least has some time to mentor him before he implodes; might as well do something right with his life.

 

When Peter swung through the city he almost crashed into a wall when he saw _him._  He landed on a roof of an office block and looked at the giant screen showing this world's Wade giving a speech on his wonderful, but sadly dead, husband. He looked distraught and Peter wanted nothing more than to go find him and hold him close, to let him know that he knows exactly how he's feeling; what he's going through.

He reached out towards the screen when Wade's face just crumpled in that heartbreaking way his Wade's face would, he was guided away from the stage as the sobs racked through his body and Peter had to pull his mask off his face. He couldn't breathe.

He made up his mind. He was staying and he was going to finish the job and shut this whole mess down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter blamed himself though, that was his final chance to say goodbye to the love of his life and it was torn out from his grasp by some stupid idiot trying to get his own family back. It wasn't fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um I did a fix it, I need more happiness in my life rn and I felt Peter did to

Peter laid on his bed, staring at his ceiling as he silently cursed Miles; the crafty little shit.

Of course he suddenly had to realise how to be spider-man, how to get back up after he was knocked down over and over and _over_  again.

Of course the sweet kid, who somehow always saw the best in things, got everyone home to their respective worlds. Including Peter.

When he returned a month had passed and Aunt May had been staying at his flat waiting for his return. She explained how the funeral went, that it was beautiful and everything went to plan despite Peter not being there but she said nobody blamed him. Of course he would be too heartbroken to turn up, nobody expected him to be okay with this. Peter blamed himself though, that was his final chance to say goodbye to the love of his life and it was torn out from his grasp by some stupid idiot trying to get his own family back. It wasn't _fair_.

He rolled over and stared at the wedding photo on his bedside table, clutching the shirt of Wade's he was wearing tightly. He missed him so much, everything was slowly fading though and he didn't know what he'd do when he could no longer smell his scent in the sheets or remember what his voice sounded like.

He was proud of Miles for what he had accomplished but he really wished he had listened to him when he said he couldn't bare being home alone.

Aunt May has shouted and cried when he fell through his ceiling, she said how worried she had been for him and that Michael, her husband, had been asking around trying to see if anyone on the streets had seen Spider-man. Apparently, the past few weeks a new guy had been on the streets in a red suit beating up the baddies. Peter realised that meant there was no longer a need for Spider-Man, he just felt useless.

He sighed, the flat was too quiet without Wade and he also found he was missing Miles; missed the proud feeling watching him find himself as Spider-Man, watching him save the day despite somehow convincing Peter to go home. Wade would have loved him, would have taught him so much too and the stupid jokes would have been endless and...

Peter curled into himself more and tried not to cry. Miles wasn't his kid, Wade wouldn't have taught him anything because he's still _dead_ and they were never going to experience teaching their own child anything because it's never going to happen.

Peter ignored the light knocking on his door but Aunt May still entered anyway, he didn't look at her when she entered and sat on his bed; he can't stand the pity in her eyes.

"Peter, sweetheart, is there anything I can do for you before I go?" Peter shook his head, "Are you going to talk to me? You've been missing for a month and the most you said was 'different universe, spiderman stuff.'"

"That's all it was Aunt May," Peter kept looking at his wedding photo, "That worlds Kingpin used a vortex manipulator to get his family and got me instead, I just... I don't want to talk about it right now." Aunt May put a hand on his thigh, it reminded Peter of every time he'd come home from school a sad mess, it was still as comforting now.

"I understand, sweetheart I do so we'll talk about it later on when you're up for it," she said, "Just take some time to process everything."

"What's the point? It's not like I have anything to feel better for."

"You have me and you have your job and..."

"I still have that?"

"Yeah, JJ said his paper couldn't lose you and the temp is driving him mad and Mr Stark said take as much time as you need, he knows how much a personal loss can affect you and not to come back until your tip top; your job is ready and waiting for you when you're ready."

"Oh..."

"There are people out there who care, Peter, including the rest of New York."

"Spider-Man is going into retirement I think, there's a new guy about."

"Yeah, Michael told me about him, a newbie in a red suit who uses... Questionable methods." Peter sat up.

"What do you mean?"

"He carries _katanas_ Peter, he sounds a little odd to me."

"Oh... Does he have a name?"

"Michael said it was something like Deathpoll or something." Peter couldn't help but laugh. 

"That's a crap name." Aunt May smiled at him.

"Maybe Spider-Man can convince him to change it," Her smile turned a little sad, "You will be okay, won't you Peter?"

"Of course I just... I need time, I miss him and its still only been a couple of weeks to me."

"I know, remember I'm here for you at any time, I've been through this." Uncle Ben's name was left unsaid.

"I know, thank you," He kissed her cheek before flopping back onto his bed, "Best get home, Michael will have missed you."

"Okay, I've left some food you can heat up, I'll be back soon." Peter just murmured a response.

Once Aunt May has left Peter brought the covers over himself and held Wade's pillow close to him, his scent was still there. He looked at his wedding photo one more time before shutting his eyes and praying his dreams don't wake him up.

 

 

Peter jumped awake when he heard the loud crash coming from the spare room. Someone was in his flat and honestly, Peter could not be bothered to deal with some burglar. He's tired, cut him some slack.

He threw the covers off him and contemplated whether it would even be worth fighting the guy off but then all he could think about is that if they took anything of Wade's he'd be heartbroken. He got to his feet and snuck out of his room and down the hall to the spare room. He didn't bother giving whoever was in there any warning; he opened the door and flicked on the lights.

"What the-?" Peter stared at the man in the red suit, who was currently bleeding onto the carpet, "What are you doing in my spare room?" the guy didn't say anything, he just kept staring which was a little weird since his eyes on his mask were white, "Hello?"

"Where have you been?"

"Huh?"

"You've been missing for... For... A while at least, where have you been?"

"How did you know I was missing?" That was a bit concerning.

"Because you haven't been home."

"Have you been watching me?"

"That sounds creepy."

"Because it _is,_ " Peter said, "Wait, how did we get to questioning me? You're the one who broke in and is still bleeding on the carpet."

"Sorry, I'll get it cleaned, occupational hazard." Peter noticed the Katanas on his back and sighed, it was the newbie.

"The weapons stay in here, we can go into the bathroom and patch you up and you can tell me why you're in my house."

"No need for that Petey-baby, I'll be right as rain in just a second." Peter froze.

"What?"

"Yeah, it's weird but healing factor and..."

"Not that, what the _hell_ did you just call me?" the newbie stiffened.

"Shit."

"Why did you call me that? Nobody but... How... I..." Nobody calls him Petey-baby but Wade, that was _his_ nickname for him.

"Hey, hey calm down its okay," the newbie walked over to him and Peter was in too much shock to push him off when he hugged him, "I got you baby boy, it's okay."

"I don't understand." Peter clung onto him as his breathing became choked.

"I have some explaining to do," he said, "Let's go somewhere more comfortable." Peter was so confused as the masked man guided him into the sitting room and sat him on the couch, he wanted to cry when he sat in Wade's seat, "So... I don't know where to start."

"How about you tell me who you are and why you're calling me those names."

"I'd planned this a million times, ya know the coming back, but I don't know how to do it now..." he said, "I've missed you, a lot, and when you were missing I was so panicked, then May's husband started asking around and I thought you were dead and..."

"I'm lost, what do you mean come back? And how do you know about my Aunt and her husband?"

"Peter, it's me..." The guy turned to him, "Wade."

"No... No, he's dead... How _dare_  you?" Peter stood up and moved away from him.

"I'm not lying, baby, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," the guy wrapped his arms around himself, "I thought I was doing a good thing, I thought if you thought I was dead and the project X thing was fake then you wouldn't have see me die twice but then if it worked and I came back all better then I don't know, I thought we could work through it but... But..."

"You're not making any sense, my husband died, end of," Peter said, "He's gone and he's not coming back so don't you _dare_  do this to me."

"Spidey-baby, come on, I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry... I didn't think this through and..."

"Where did you hear that nickname?"

"I made it up, you were coming out at Spider-Man and I just laughed and told you that I knew... I called you Spidey-baby and threw you an engagement ring." Peter froze, that was too specific for anyone to just guess and it really was just him and Wade when he proposed.

"How long ago was that."

"Just after you turned nineteen, then I turned twenty-one and then by the time you were twenty we were married."

"How do you know all this?"

"Peter... Please..."

"Take off your mask."

"No."

"I won't be able to believe you if you don't take off the mask."

"I'm not the same underneath, not how you remember me."

"I don't care, take off the mask... At least move it from you mouth so I can hear you better."

"Don't you have inhanced hearing? Doesn't your spidey sense tell you to believe me?"

"My senses have been knocked a bit since my husband _died,_ " Peter snapped, his whole body shaking, "So, show yourself." the guy in the suit paused, slowly moving his hands to lift his mask over his mouth and Peter couldn't help but gasp; it had nothing to do with the scars running every way over his skin, but he _knew_ that mouth.

"So, uh, this is weird." Peter felt his eyes water, he _knew_  that voice.

"Stand up," newbie stood without a pause this time and Peter could see he was nervous, possibly even scared as Peter began circling him.

"What are you doing?" the guy tried to laugh but it was shaky.

"Just as I expected," Peter stood in front of him, fingers at the edge of the mask, waiting to be stopped but when he made no move to stop him, he lifted the mask over his head and smiled at him, "I know that ass from anywhere."

"Huh? What... You..." Wade didn't get time to respond before he had an arm full of emotional Peter.

"I thought you were dead, I was _there_."

"Um, surprise?" Wade said, arms holding Peter around his waist.

"What happened to you?" Peter pulled back and put his hands on Wade's face, the scars felt as though they were shifting under his fingers but Peter could still see _him_.

"Couple of months back some dude asked me to become part of some superhero group, only it was a torture chamber where they try to unlock your mutant powers or until you die," Wade's hold tightened, "I don't want to go into too much detail right now Petey, not when I have you back, but let's cut a long story short and say they unlocked mine and I've gone from the pretty boy you knew into a disgusting, immortal mutant."

"If I wasn't so shocked and happy to see you I would have put you on your ass."

"What?"

"You are to never call my husband disgusting ever again," Peter tries to sound stern but the tears in his eyes might have given him away, "Never again."

"Wait... Husband?"

"Don't tell me they wiped your memories too?"

"No, I just didn't expect it to be this easy," Wade said, "I thought you'd be angry or something."

"Eighteen years ago I made a vow to be with you no matter what, why would I turn you away now?" Peter let the tears flow freely now, "You are my only reason to get up in the morning, I thought I'd never ever get to see you again so why would I push you away when I finally have you back?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too," Peter said, pulling Wade into a kiss that made his heart soar. It was everything Peter had been missing, "By the way," He whispered at they pulled back, "Deathpoll is such a stupid name."

"Huh? It's Deadpool, you idiot." Wade's smile was filled with so much affection and Peter couldn't stop himself from laughing as he wrapped his legs around Wade's waist, the other holding his ass firmly.

"Whatever, I love you."

"I love you too, so much." Peter kissed him again.

"I'm exhausted, fancy going to bed so we can sleep and when we wake up we can talk this through properly then?"

"Of course," Peter rested his head on Wade's shoulder, holding him close, "Remind me to never leave you again." Peter scoffed. 

"Like I'd let you you."

 

That night, while Peter watched his _husband_  get ready for bed he couldn't believe how lucky he was.

"I need to find a way of thanking Miles." he blurted out.

"Thanking who now?" Wade asked, sliding into bed next to him, "Who is Miles?"

"Oh, he's... He's the reason I'm back home and not dead elsewhere."

"Remind _me_ to thank him." Wade said, pulling Peter close. Peter sighed and rested his head on Wade's chest, the texture of his skin my be different but the feelings and the comfort he felt were all exactly the same. He thought about Miles again; about his kindness and strength, the way he felt as he watched him grow. 

"Hey, Wade..."

"Yes baby boy?"

"Fancy having kids?" 


	3. BONUS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the fuck, you're dead, what the fuck."   
> "No, I'm not?" Wade stepped closer but Peter stumbled backwards, "We went over this last night? I'm not dead, I came back."  
> "I'm so confused," Peter was panicking now, "You're not real."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS SPIDER VERSE SPOILERS 
> 
> also heckin big thank you to eatsomefuckingchickensoup who helped me get this chapter rolled out by giving me the inspo for how to start it, i also ate soup while writing this in their honour (sorry it wasn't chicken, i'm vegetarian but it still counts right?)

When Peter woke up he had a smile on his face until he realised the space next to him that used to be occupied by his husband was empty and cold which meant his dream of Wade coming back to him was just that: a dream.  
He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream or shout or just  _punch_  something because why was this _still_  happening? After Wade's death he kept seeing him around the apartment, hearing his voice as if he never left because his brain couldn't process the fact the love of his life was dead, and now it was creating full back stories on how Wade would return and that thought alone made him feel sick. Why couldn't he ever just cut a break? He knew it was too good to be true; escape another universe to come home to his totally undead husband, _yeah_ _right_.  
Peter swung his legs out of bed, he really didn't want to get up because there wasn't really a point, however, he soon realised that if he didn't get up and go to the bathroom now he'll end up pissing the bed and he'd like to think he hadn't stooped that low in life. He could hear the soft whistling coming from the kitchen as he walked out of his bedroom and down the hall, the _Spider-Man_ tune Wade was so fond of clear as day as if Wade was still in the apartment and Peter was half expecting to hear Wade laugh and say _it's for you baby-boy! Just like everything I do is for you!_  Peter felt his stomach twist and he couldn't help but slam the bathroom door hoping that would jerk his brain into stopping and it worked, he listened out for the tune and sighed when he couldn't hear anything anymore. He rested his head against the door, holding back the tears before pushing himself away and going about his business.  
He took time in washing his hands, not quite ready to leave just in case his brain hadn't stopped making up lies because he didn't know how much more he could cope with. Peter thought about calling Aunt May but this would just worry her and it's not like he could call Miles plus maybe it was a little weird to call a thirteen year old and cry about marital problems and the fact he keeps hearing and seeing his dead husband around their apartment. Yeah, totally weird. He sighed again, he could always just call up Tony, they've been getting on really well since the whole Spider-Man and by-the-way-I-also-work-for-you thing but he still didn't feel comfortable enough to tell people just how badly he was coping with the whole thing. He moved over to the bathroom door and his hand hovered over the door handle when there was a knock on the door; he stumbled backwards.  
"Petey, you okay in there?" Peter groaned.  
"Oh for fuck sake." he pulled the door open a bit too hard when he felt the door handle get a little crushed between his fingers, he was just so tired of this _bullshit_. He wasn't surprised to see Wade stood there, but his dream Wade so not only does he have to be tortured with the 'ghost' of Wade but the dream version of him that was locked up and hurt and left disfigured; thinking of anything bad ever happening to him left a bad taste in Peter's mouth but now he has to be reminded of this horrific backstory his mind created which made his heart hurt even more.  
"I'd say good morning but it seems like it's not very good," Wade said, stepping out of the way when Peter rolled his eyes and walked past him, "Baby-boy?"  
"Why can't you just fuck off, why are you still here?" Peter didn't turn to look at the hallucination, there's no point, "I'm just so tired."  
"I don't understand, you said you were happy I was home?" Wade followed him into the sitting room, "I've been making breakfast, I was hoping we could talk..."  
"Talk," Peter scoffed, "Now my hallucinations want to 'talk', I guess I've totally lost the plot now."  
"Hallucinations? Huh? What-" Peter stood in his tracks and Wade bumped into him before quickly stepping back. Peter could smell the pancakes from the sitting room, has his brain created a full 4D experience for him? He never smelt anything before and he's only ever felt a fleeting touch of Wade that was a memory not a full body slam like someone had run into him.  
"What is going on?" Peter didn't turn around, he was terrified of what he would see... or wouldn't see.  
"I don't understand..." Wade still hadn't moved any closer, "I only wanted to make breakfast and surprise you and... and... _talk_  and I'm so sorry."  
"Talk..." Peter cast himself back to his dream last night, he told dream-Wade he wanted to talk when he woke up which now makes sense as to why 'talking' keeps coming up, of course his brain had to remember that piece of information and had to keep bringing it up and mocking him because he'll never get that opportunity, "Jesus Christ," Peter pinched the bridge of his nose; tears building behind his eyes, headache forming from all the commotion, "Why couldn't Miles just have left me to die."  
"Don't you _dare_  say that," Peter felt something grab his shoulder and pull him around, "Why would you say that?" Peter just stared, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish; this was too real, _Wade was too real._  
"What the fuck, you're dead, what the _fuck_."   
"No, I'm not?" Wade stepped closer but Peter stumbled backwards, "We went over this last night? I'm not dead, I came back."  
"I'm so confused," Peter was panicking now, "You're not real."  
"I am, I am real Petey," Wade said, "I promise you."  
"No, you're just a dream... I'm just trying to process it all... You're dead and I'm alone," Peter felt his knees buckle and he gripped onto the wall, "Oh god, I'm _alone_ , I miss you so much and I'm so alone without you." Peter couldn't even look at Wade, he used the wall as support as he stumbled through the sitting room and into the kitchen. The breakfast smell was stronger and he wanted to be sick, he just wanted to escape and everything was following him around.  
"Peter, you're scaring me now." Wade said, following him in.  
"Just shut up," Peter snapped, he just needed silence for five minutes, "This isn't real?" it was coming out more like a question because the breakfast on the dining table seemed pretty darn real to him, Wade's voice sounded real to him, the skin underneath his fingers felt real as he collapsed into the arms of his so-called hallucination that have never caught him before.  
"Babe?" Peter looked up into the worried blue eyes of his _totallynotdeadonehundredpercentalivewhatthefuck_ husband, "What is going on?" Peter reached out and softly touched Wade's cheek with his finger tips, the skin was warm and oh so alive that he couldn't hold the sob back this time, "Pete?"  
"I'm so sorry," Peter cried, holding Wade close, "I'm so sorry."  
"Hey, it's okay shhh..." Wade picked him up and rocked him gently like he used to before everything went to shit, "Calm down, I'm here okay, shhh..."  
"Don't leave."  
"I'm not planning on it, trust me, I just need you to calm down for me," Wade rubbed his back, "Breathe in, then out, just like that, good boy."  
"I thought it was all a dream... I thought..." Peter clenched his eyes shut.  
"Oh, that's what you meant about hallucinations... See me often?"  
"Only every day, you were everywhere without even being alive," Peter didn't release the hold on Wade at all, "It was the best and the worst because I wanted you back so badly but it was torture knowing you weren't coming back but I could still _see_  you."  
"Hey, baby-boy, I understand," Wade said, "You were always with me too, think you were what kept me sane which is crazy."  
"You've always been a bit crazy so that's understandable," Wade chuckled softly.  
"Yeah, crazy in love with you." Peter couldn't help the laugh that left his mouth, squeezing Wade into more of a hug rather than the death grip from before.  
"You loser," he opened his eyes and moved to look at Wade's face, "But you're my loser so that's all okay."  
"I wouldn't want to be anyone elses loser but yours." Wade pressed a kiss against his lips before pulling back and resting his forehead against Peters, "Do you want to tell me what happened to you?" Peter sighed, he didn't want to but he knew he was going to have to talk about it sooner rather than later.  
"Okay." Wade put him down and they both sat at the dining table, the pancakes lukewarm but Peter still reached out and grabbed one; the taste was so familiar and heartwarming, no pancake could compare to Wade's, "Where should I start?"  
"From the beginning?"  
"I hadn't really left the house since you 'died' so I was in my natural habitat, ya know the bed, when this weird portal thing opened up in the ceiling and pulled me through," Peter explained, "It hurt, like a lot, and the next thing I was thrown into New York but it wasn't this place and I was dead."  
" _You_  were dead?"  
"And blond." Wade pulled a face of concentration before shaking his head.  
"Don't go blond."  
"I'm not panning on it, trust me, plus that me was still in his twenties so he looked hip and trendy and I'd just look a sad chunky man trying to be young." Wade laughed and Peter couldn't help himself from laughing either.  
"You're as perfect as you were when you were a hip and trendy in your twenties, even if you are a sad, chunky man."  
"Thanks babe, make a man feel special." Peter rolled his eyes and tried to look annoyed but his smile gave him away.  
"I hope I do baby-boy... what else happened?"  
"I was lost to be honest, everything was the same yet so different so I just followed my Spider-sense despite the fact it's been a little on the blink lately, and I found this kid who ended up knocking me out, dragging me through the air halfway across the city attached to a train, dropping us _both_  off a bridge before finally tying me up on a punching bag."  
"What the fuck?"  
"My thoughts exactly, it was... weird, but what was weirder was that he was like me."  
"Another Spidey?"  
"Yeah, he was new, had no idea what he was doing and I was a dick at first, barely had the time of day for him but as we worked together to save all of us, I really found that I came to care for him," Peter smiled, "He was a great kid."  
"Is that this Miles you keep mentioning?"  
"Yeah, he turned out to be pretty impressive even if he did start out as a dumbass."  
"Why were you there?" Wade laced his fingers through Peter's, a gesture that made Peter feel safe.  
"Kingpin and Doc Ock working together, Kingpin had a personal vendetta against all Spider-Men since his family caught him trying to kill Blond-Peter and as they left they ended up getting killed... it was a mess and if he wasn't such an asshole I might have felt bad," Peter said, "They built this vortex manipulator thing and instead of bringing his family back he ended up getting us instead."  
"Us...?"  
"Oh, yeah turns out there are quite a few spiders out there, in this one world there was six of us minus blond-Peter."  
"Six versions of you..." Peter laughed at the dreamy look in Wade's eyes, he shoved him gently.  
"If you're thinking of some form of orgy I'll let you know the only one that looked like me at all was the dead one; Miles is like thirteen, Gwen..." Wade gasped a little in excitement.  
"Female Spidey?"   
"Yeah, Gwen was a girl, a _fifteen_  year old girl may I add." Peter shot Wade a knowing look, he just rolled his eyes.  
"I'm not thinking anything dirty baby-boy, I have you for those thoughts, I'm just here for the gender equality, ya know? Letting the girls have a chance."  
"There was also a young girl who had a robot."  
"What?"  
"And a version of me straight from the noir films, Spider-Man Noir who was from the _1930's_."  
"That sounds awesome."  
"Oh, and a cartoon pig."  
"That sound terrifying."  
"He was a little... odd, but he was funny I guess."  
"If there are so many versions of you, I wonder if there's any more of me." Peter felt sad again.  
"That world I was in... Blond-Peter was married to you."  
"Oh..."  
"And I doubt his husband was coming back to him like you did me, it was awful... he was the reason I planned on staying."  
"...Why? Did you... meet him? I mean, I'd totally understand but..." Peter kissed Wade to stop his nervous rambling.  
"No, I didn't fall in love with him if you're wondering, it's because Miles couldn't stop Kingpin by himself and I couldn't survive much longer without you and seeing that Wade being utterly heartbroken... I don't know, I just didn't want to live like that."  
"Baby-boy... I'm sorry, I should have told you what I was doing."  
"It's okay, you're here now and that's what matters."  
"I nearly lost you, when I came home that night and saw the place empty... I was terrified, then I started asking about you in the streets and I knew Mich had been asking which meant May had no idea where you were and I started scoping out the house... I just wanted to go instead and just be in the house we had together but May was always there and I didn't know how to talk to her after the supposed being dead thing and then it wasn't until she finally left that I snuck in and found you."  
"More like I found you, bleeding all over our spare room."  
"I'm going to get it clean, calm down," Wade's eyes shifted slightly, "How did you nearly die? You said Miles saved your lift, what happened?"  
"He saved my life by sending me home, my atoms didn't appreciate me being in another world so they were slowly disintegrating... as soon as I stepped foot in that world I was dying."   
"You're okay now though... right?"  
"Yeah, no more glitching and I'm glad about that but what about you?"  
"What about me?"  
"I woke up to you, not dead and bleeding everywhere yet this morning you're walking around as if it never happened."  
"I ran into someone's knife, I was asking around like normal and this guy didn't take a liking to you and stabbed me for it, but I'm all better now baby-boy."  
"How? Wade, what happened to you?" Wade tensed up.  
"They... they called themselves Project X, promoted it by telling people they'll make them better, told me they'd cure my cancer, only it wasn't a happy holiday camp it was an underground torture chamber."  
"What did they do to you?" Wade laughed.  
"What _didn't_  they do to me? I injected with a serum that activates any mutant genes lurking in my DNA when combined with extreme stress to trigger mutations, I wanna skip the gory details about ice baths and beatings and stuff because I don't want to dredge all that back up right now, but eventually they got sick of me and my mouth and put me in this weird glass coffin thing where there was only just enough oxygen to keep me alive," Wade sighed, "It was there where I went from Beauty to the Beast, unlocked my hidden mutation where my body regenerates and it seems like nothing I can do will kill me, the cells in my body started attacking the cancer as fast as it could form."  
"So the cancer..."  
"It's still there baby-boy, still living inside me so they didn't cure me, they stopped it from spreading but I guess I'm still sick, although I don't feel sick not like before anyway."  
"Do you hurt?"  
"All the time, but if I don't focus on it then it's more of a numb ache, a tiny constant reminder that it's there but it's okay."  
"I'm so sorry... oh babe..."  
"No, don't apologise I'm the one who put you through hell, I should be thankful you want anything to do with me."  
"Wade, I was willing to kill myself in a completely different universe just because I couldn't cope without you, of course I was taking you back."  
"God, I love you."  
"I love you too," Peter cocked his head slightly to one side, "But... who the fuck did we bury?"  
"Nobody? Or maybe a John Doe? I... I hadn't thought about it, they gave me this drug to slow my pulse down to practically nothing, it knocked me out cold and I actually thought i was dying, it wasn't until I woke up, strapped to a gurney, did I realise what had happened."  
"How are we going to explain this to everyone?"  
"Miracle?"  
"Could just say there was a mix up? Your stats dropped so low they thought you were dead but later realised their mistake when you woke up but since I had been missing for a month they couldn't get hold of me to let me know."  
"How do you explain this face then?" Peter thought for a moment before looking at the copy of the Daily Bugle on the table, he reached over with his spare hand and realised the paper was pretty old; dated around the time Wade had died. He flicked through the news stories until he hit one that made a perfect cover story.  
"Fire."  
"What?"  
"Apparently there was a fire in one of the hospital wings during a fight that involved the Avengers and the weekly villain, we can say you got caught up in that which is why you never told anyone you were alive."  
"How are you so smart?" Peter shrugged and dropped the paper, looking back at Wade.  
"I just want to be with my husband again, I'm not hiding you."  
"You're too good to me." Wade said with a smile.  
"I just love you, so much," Peter said, getting up to sit in Wade's lap, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I'll do anything to make that happen."  
"Does this mean Spidey and Deadpool can team up?"  
"Sure, why not, let's go be a crime fighting duo." Wade laughed and wrapped his arms around Peter's waist.  
"Were you... were you serious last night about wanting kids?"   
"Yes, I was," Peter wrapped his arms around Wade's neck, pulling himself as close as possible, "Miles... he taught me a lot and I knew I wanted kids with you but he just made it feel concrete, ya know? I was with him a matter of day but... but I don't know, my paternal instincts must have kicked in because all I could think about was if we had a kid like him; how you'd make him laugh and teach him useless facts and how to be a good man, how I could teach him to be the best he can be, how to get up after getting knocked down, May would dote on him and he'd be spoilt rotten by both her and Mich and don't even get me started on how Tony would want to be the 'fun' uncle, because he told me... multiple times."'  
"Tony Stark wants to be a cool uncle to our kid?"  
"I know, I was shocked too but he insists and I wouldn't want to upset Tony Stark."  
"Me neither," Wade smiled, "You seem to have this whole kid thing planned out?"  
"Not really, I know it'll be nothing how we plan because raising kids is nothing like how the text book says but I want to learnt how to raise a child with you by my side."  
"And I will be right there, beside you," Wade pressed his lips against Peter's, "Should we go practice the baby making side of it?"  
"Uh... we can't actually..." Wade moved to bite at Peter's ear lobe, moving down his neck, " _Oh_."  
"Fancy it?" Peter didn't answer, choosing to instead pull Wade from the chair and to the bedroom; there were no room for words then, and when they were both struggling with removing each others clothing Peter felt safe and happy and this time... this time he knew he wasn't dreaming.

When he couldn't get back up, Wade was there to give him a helping hand and helped him stand: _together_.

**Author's Note:**

> As you'll notice, I don't kill May off mainly for my plot but also I don't want Peter any sadder than he is


End file.
